My Testimony
The Reason I Am The Way I Am
By BLAKE LEWIS
I have met a lot of people over the course of my life so far. God has graced and blessed me to encourage and help those that I’ve come in contact with. Most people that I meet have told me that they feel like I’ve got it all together. Those people are sadly mistaken. Many of them don’t really know my story and the process it took to get to my level of faith. The saying that a lot of preachers say in the black church, “You may see me in my glory but you don’t know my story” is definitely true in my case. I tell people all the time that I’m just a regular, normal, guy. So for those who are reading, please allow me to share a bit of my testimony.
Interaction with people is something I love. I would consider myself an extrovert. Sometimes I joke that I’m an “omnivert” with my close friends because I have my shy moments, but for the most part I’m not particularly shy. I enjoy sharing my faith with those I’m close to but more so with those who don’t know the Lord Jesus. But what most don’t understand is why I am the way that I am. It’s been a long hard road for me. I’m twenty-eight years of age and I’ve seen and experienced so many things in my life so far. When I recall my past, I realize how grateful I am to have made it this far. But at the same time, I also acknowledge how frustrated I was during that time.
I accepted Christ when I was six years old. My mom would always bring me to church with her when she directed the children’s choir and would minister to them after every practice. I was only four at the time but I remember everything that transpired in those practices and wanted to learn more of what she talked about. God always intrigued me and even though I really didn’t know Him that well at the time, I knew I wanted to learn more. My mom subtly would minister me throughout the day and even before I went to bed. I learned how to say my prayers and even learned how to read the bible. The amazing thing is that the bible was one of the first books I learned to read (not the King James Version but a children’s bible of course. But I digress). Just like any kid that age, I enjoyed seeing the pictures and as I read. This made the words come to life and made my imagination run wild. I wanted to know if God and Jesus really were as loving as in my bible.
I accepted Christ July 12, 1995. I got baptized the very next Wednesday. Unlike most kids at that age, I knew exactly what I was doing mainly because of my support system. My parents instilled in me godly values and encouraged me to have integrity even when no one else had it.
Middle school and high school were both very hard for me. I struggled with my self-esteem, which stemmed mainly from me not having a lot of friends and no one to talk to. I had a few friends but they couldn’t relate to my spiritual obstacles. The only people who could were my parents. In middle school, I realized how different I was from everyone else because of my walk with Christ. Everyone knew I was a Christian even though I rarely said anything to anyone due to my shyness. It was the way I carried myself which made me stand out. I would carry my bible along with my books to each class. I would speak about Jesus to all who would listen. This in turn, made me a social outcast.
In high school, I tried to “fit in” without actually crossing my moral guidelines. I wanted to “hang with the fellas” but I wasn’t willing to do what they did. I had no desire to smoke, drink, or divulge in negative and uncomfortable conversations about sex. On the basketball team, my teammates made fun of me, and so did the coaches, which gave my teammates the green light to torture and ridicule me. In their minds, if the coach did it, so could they. I couldn’t get a girlfriend mainly because most of the girls wanted someone who was popular. I wasn’t trying to get anyone pregnant and develop unwanted soul ties. Even the ones that did approach me thought I was a square because I wouldn’t sleep with them. Unfortunately in church, the one place where I could escape turned out to be worse at times. During that time, I discovered the difference between “church folk” and real Christians.
The saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” didn’t apply to me. In fact, words did hurt a lot (Proverbs 18:21). They can pierce the heart without even breaking the skin. I was called everything but a child of God. Holy roller, goody-two-shoes, uppity, virgin boy, Urkel, nerd boy, were just some of the names I was called. I would go home everyday after school and church just cry. I wondered why God was allowing this constant and incessant torture. Besides having my parents to encourage me, the other constant I had was my bible. I would read for hours and get lost in the word.
After graduation, the Lord ministered to me through various people why He allowed me to go through what I went through. After all those years, I finally got my answer. It was to prepare me for ministry. At a young age, I knew my calling. God wasn’t going to allow me to quit or reject Him. He chose me to help and encourage others like me. He wanted young children and adults alike to see a living example that their sufferings for Christ were not in vain. I’m grateful to say that I’m one of those examples. I realized that the pain and torment I endured through my childhood and teen years was not just for me, but also for others to receive hope.
